Love.

Let’s be real: Love is powerful. Like a rollercoaster. It’s been written about in poetry, studied in labs, and debated in philosophy classrooms for centuries. Yet here we are, still asking the same question: How do I know if this is love… or just a crush? Maybe it’s infatuation? Or wait, is it full-on obsession? 

The heart is complicated, and so are the feelings that come with it. But if we slow down and look closer, we can start to tell the difference between these experiences. Once we do, we can stop fearing love altogether and instead embrace it for what it’s meant to be: one of the richest, most meaningful parts of being human. A critical part of personal growth, evolution, and expansion.

Black paper heart

Crushes.

These are like the spark at the very beginning of attraction. They’re playful, exciting, and sometimes completely unrealistic. You don’t need to know someone deeply to have a crush on them—it might be your coworker, your neighbor, your classmate, or that person you always see at your favorite spot. Half the time, you don’t even know much about them, but your mind fills in the blanks with what you imagine they’re like. 

And that’s what makes crushes fun—they’re built on possibility. They let you feel that rush of excitement without commitment. But the thing about crushes is that they usually fade within a few months unless something real develops. Still, they’re worth appreciating. Crushes wake us up, spark our curiosity, and remind us what it feels like to long for someone. 

Infatuation. 

This is what happens when that spark turns into a fire. It’s louder than a crush, and it often feels like love, at first. Your heart races when they look at you, or when they text, you can’t stop thinking about them, and everything they do feels electrifying. Studies even show that infatuation activates the same reward centers in the brain as addictive substances. No wonder it feels so consuming.  The tricky part is that infatuation makes us see someone through rose-colored glasses. We focus on their best traits and overlook the things that might actually matter long-term. Our judgment gets cloudy because we’re hooked on the high of their attention. Infatuation can be fun and even life-changing, but it’s usually temporary. It burns bright and fast, often fading as quickly as it arrives. 

That said, if you’re patient and honest—with yourself and with them—infatuation can grow into something deeper. Sometimes it’s just the first step on the road to a relationship, or real love. 

A couple

Love.

Love is different. It’s not just a spark—it’s the steady flame that keeps glowing long after the initial rush fades. Sparks are exciting, but flames are what keep us warm. Love grows out of trust, respect, and truly seeing someone for who they are—not just the version of them we dreamed up in our heads. It’s about caring for their well-being because you want to see them thrive, not just because of what they give you in return.

Love doesn’t ask for perfection, because perfection only exists in the eye of the beholder. Instead, it thrives on honesty and acceptance. It’s about looking at someone’s quirks, scars, and flaws and saying, “I choose you anyway.” It’s about showing up when things get messy, when life gets heavy, and when the shine wears off. Love isn’t about needing constant validation or control—it’s about creating space where two people can be themselves, side by side, while still growing individually.

Real love reveals itself in the quiet mornings when you bring each other coffee without asking, in the tough conversations where you listen even when it’s hard, and in the small daily choices that say, “I’m here for you.” It’s not always fireworks and butterflies, but it’s reliable, grounding, and strong enough to carry you through storms.

That’s why love lasts. It’s less about the high and more about the roots. Infatuation might give you wings, but love gives you a home. 

Obsession: When Love Turns Unhealthy

At first glance, obsession can look like love. But underneath, it feels very different. What starts as attraction or infatuation can cross the line into fixation—an unhealthy attachment that thrives on control, fear of loss, and a constant need for reassurance.

Psychologically, obsession steals your peace. It heightens anxiety, disrupts focus, and slowly chips away at your sense of self because so much of your energy is tied to another person. Every text, every pause, every glance becomes something to overthink.

Love gives space; obsession takes it away. Love encourages growth; obsession stifles it. True love breathes, but obsession suffocates. That’s why it’s exhausting and unsustainable. Recognizing this difference matters—because obsession often pretends to be “deep love,” when really, it’s just fear dressed up as passion.

A Note about heartbreak

Heartbreak might be one of the hardest parts of love. And when it happens, we can’t help but wonder: Would I ever stop loving them?  Science says love leaves a mark. Our brains release bonding chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine during relationships, and that makes letting go tough. It’s why so many of us still feel connected to an ex long after things end.  But here’s the hopeful part: love doesn’t just disappear, but it does change. The intensity fades, the longing softens, and eventually what was once a raw wound becomes a memory you can live with. Sometimes it turns into gratitude for what that person taught you. Sometimes it’s just a neutral feeling. Either way, healing happens—and the heart learns how to open up again. 

A couple on their wedding day

Don’t Be Afraid to Love 

Here’s the truth: love isn’t meant to be feared, even with all of its risks. Crushes, infatuation, heartbreak, obsession—they’re all part of a process. And even when love doesn’t last, it leaves us stronger, wiser, and more connected to who we really are. 

Love is about experiencing connection at the highest vibration possible. It stretches us, softens us, and reminds us that we’re alive. The point isn’t to avoid the pain—it’s to embrace the experience, because every form of love teaches us something. 

So yes, opening your heart is risky. But closing it off is even riskier. Love might not always go the way we hope, but the fact that we can love deeply is what makes life meaningful. 

Crushes, infatuation, love, and obsession each tell their own story. A crush is playful. Infatuation is intense. Love is grounding. Obsession is a warning sign. Together, they form a spectrum of experiences that shape us into who we’re becoming. 

At the end of the day, love is never something to fear. Its power to transform you will always outweigh its ability to break you. So lean in, feel deeply, and trust that every chapter—whether exciting, painful, or messy—is part of the bigger picture of your life.